Boo!
We had a great time carving pumpkins with some friends we recently met at the beach.
My Malificent Pumpkin (on the left) didn’t turn out so well. She looks like she had a bad eye job.
We had lots of fun, all the same.
beterwas
honestly misbehavingArchive for October, 2006
Sincerely yours, Larry Buckman, POTUS
I’m watching the President’s news conference and can’t help but be reminded of Tom Hulce’s character in the movie Parenthood.
He doesn’t really know the details about what he’s selling, but he won’t admit it. Instead, his annoyed deference to “generals on the ground” or “leaders in Iraq” sounds an awfully lot like “you know, someone in a lab coat makes those kinds of decisions.”
More than that, though, his attempts to convince the public that everything is actually hunky dory, garnished with a clear disdain for being questioned in the first place, make me wonder when he’s going to just blurt out “I’m better than that!”
Too bad we can’t just give him a $1,000 to go away.
Finish Ahead: Demand Quality!
I have an Aussie grill, that I bought about six years ago. We grill out at least once a week, often two or three times – big beef-eaters we are.
I paid about $200 for this grill when I bought it, and over the years, parts of it have worn out.
When that happens, I call the company, and ask about purchasing a replacement. They will almost always send it to me for free. Most of the major parts – the burners, the cooking grids – have five-year warranties. The rest, though, is way beyond warranty. They sell it all, and at a very reasonable price, but they usually will just send it out for free.
This past summer, the grill had seen the last of its days. The wooden frame/cart had seen better days, and the regulators had seen a bit too much heat over the years. The problem was that I couldn’t find one that was as good, and at that size.
There were these huge “stainless steel” behemoths, and crappy small grills. Nothing for someone that liked to grill, but didn’t want to give up a parking space for a Honda-sized grill.
So I called the Aussie Grill Company in Greeneville, TN, and told them my dilemma. They set me up with almost an entire new grill for around $50. What’s more? They don’t see what the big deal is. They make the best grill they can make, and do whatever they can to keep their customers happy; yet nearly everyone they talk to seems surprised by that.
We must always demand and expect quality. If something doesn’t work, let the company that made it know. If your store doesn’t carry something you need, ask them to.
Here’s the secret that’s become lost in all of this: They want to make you happy. Help them. Demand it!
Confound Authority: Call Someone (Part Dieux)!
Well, we’re only as srong as our weakest link, aren’t we?
The Call Someone strategy does come with a few caveats that I failed to mention. First among these is to be prepared to have the person you’re calling answer the phone. I have called many offices, asking for one official or another, but fully expecting to get some lackey or voice mail. Every once in a while, though, you may ask for Congressman So-and-so and the receptionist says simply “one moment, please.”
Another is to be sure you really want what you are asking for – and that’s the lesson for this story:
A few days ago, I made a call to my school board member about some resource shortcomings at my son’s school. It was one of those instances wherein I got the exact result I said I wanted – the district would adress any technology issue within the next 48 hours. That was spectacular news, to everyone except the school’s technology specialist.
You ever know someone that complains about one thing or another, almost to the point of being obnoxious about it; but if anyone should ever solve a problem for them, they treat it as a huge impostion? Yeah, those people are faking it. That isn’t to say that they are incompetent. Many people have been experts in their field for many years, and still feel like they’re faking it, so they continue to act that way. Others are faking it because they really don’t know what they’re doing.
The only way to know for sure is to let down your guard and allow yourself to find out how much you really know, and how much you need to learn.
Anyway, this person did not appreciate the sudden attention. This person, in fact, was quite put off. So much so, that the response to the “you name and we’ll address it” offer was simply:
“We’re fine, thanks.”
And nothing changes.
So, friends, what is the lesson today? Be careful what you wish for? Well, as much as it seems that way, I just can’t let such a valuable life lesson be a phrase that ends with a preposition.
So, I’ll say it is if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
People’s issues are their own issues, and we shouldn’t allow them to rule the day. If you feel self-conscious about your job, then that’s a sign that you know you could be better at it.
So I will keep calling, and calling, until the problems are all fixed.
Finish Ahead: Live & Let Live
While enjoying a lovely weekend at New Smyrna Beach, it occured to me that Beterwas needed a new category: Live & Let Live.
I was at the Flager Tavern, talking to the bartender/owner about the “good old days.” My family has been coming out to New Smyrna for over twenty years, and we reminisced about being able to park on the beach overnight, have bonfires, drink beer, bring your dog, shoot of fireworks, etc.
Slowly, each of those things were taken away, and at the behest of beachside condo owners.
“That’s my beach!” they say through clenched teeth, shaking their fist at the woman walking her silky terrier. “Your dog is shitting all over my beach!”
How about we all just settle down a bit. First of all, if you own a condominium, you just own that condominium - not the beach, not the water, not the view - just the condominium.
Now if a wild party is keeping you awake at night, you have every reason to complain about that party.
But you don’t get to ban parties altogether. Or dogs. Or beer. Or my very presence on “your beach.”
If people in your community are trying to “own the beach,” don’t let them! Call your councilman, call the mayor, make some noise. Let us all together tell them to live and let live.
Confound Authority: Call Someone!
There are times when nothing in your life seems to work the way that it should. Technology doesn’t do what you want it to, things that were working suddenly stop and people just don’t take pride in doing their jobs.
At times like this, the sheer volume of things that suck makes the notion of doing anything about it seem like folly. This is always nice, because I personally love to just drizzle futility all over my frustration-flavored shit sundae. But despair not! Help is often just a phone call away!
My wife works for the public school that my son attends, so I am in the rare position of getting both sides of every school-related story. Today’s story was about these digital projectors with built-in DVD/VHS players that the school had received. Theyr were brand new, unopened, and had been that way for months. Meanwhile, teachers were making due rigging up DVD players and laptops from home to the 19″ TVs in their classrooms. What gives, I wondered?
The answer I was given was that the county would not allow anyone at the school to set up the projectors the first time. A tech from the county had to come down and do it, and there weren’t any available.
Thinking this was silly, I called my school board member, told him the story and asked for an explanation. Naturally, he didn’t have one, and he conceded that there probably was no good explanation.
“So you’ll take care of this then?,” I asked him.
Within an hour, the tech person at the school received an email from the head of the county’s IT department, asking them to send a list of anything they needed, and that their needs would be addressed within 48 hours.
The point here is that even if you don’t receive such immediate and comprehensive results, it doesn’t hurt to call and ask for your concerns to at least be heard. It doesn’t take much time, it keeps people on their toes and you will definitely feel better.
Its only the 5th and I’m already surprised!
Now I pride myself on being pretty astute, politically - I can usually see the man behind the curtain and guess whose levers are being pulled. But this latest Dorothy strategy escapes me.
Unless of course it is a true October Surprise.
But, honestly, that makes it all the more baffling. How many Jim West-types have to come out of the closet before these guys get a clue? They act like they’ve never seen a gay person before, every time they see one.
What will they do when Rick Santorum finally comes out?
Seriously, though, all of this points to a true inability on the part of the GOP to adapt; and more importantly, an inability to be open and honest about who they really are. If they can’t even do that, how can they expect to lead? And why would they want to? Where is the fun of being in charge if it means you have to hide in the closet?
And then there’s the public: After all of the scandals of lies, corruption and greed, this is what chases away the “values voters.” And those people consider themselves to be ardent patriots.
Anything went, so long as the neocons were all onboard with the no-mo crowd. But suddenly, the anti-gay buffet went all-you-can-eat, and before they knew it, “Blowjob Bill” paled in comparison to the GOP’s antics.
This is their October Surprise.
October Not-So-Surprise
October is here and I, for one, am on the lookout for the dreaded “October Surprise.”
Karl Rove has promised us one. Whatever you may say about the man, I will credit him with being reliable on two counts: What he says he will do, he will do; and what he does will suck.
Whatever happens in the next thirty days, question it! Whatever it is.
Where is the “surprise” exactly? For instance, why is it not at all surprising that the October Surprise was a Republican invention?
In October of 1968, Richard Nixon’s presidential campaign convinced the South Vietnamese government to pull out the Paris Peace Talks, devestating Vice-President Hubert Humphrey’s campaign.
The same tactics were used again in 1976, against then Governor Jimmy Carter. The creation of the Team B experiments (under George H. W. Bush, not-so-interestingly) was leaked to derail Carter’s Détente-based foreign policy campaign.
It’s happened since then, and Democrats have become as guilty as the Republicans; but the first two are particularly interesting. In both instances, Republicans prolonged a conflict with a hostile nation in order to score political points for their party.
That’s not all they did.
Think about it for a moment: In 1968, talks were ongoing, cease-fires were announced and the war coud have been ended as early as January, 1969. The Republicans saw that as nothing more than a victory for Johnson and, by extension, Humphrey in a close election. They convinced the South Vietnamese that a better deal could be had by pulling out of the talks, and the delegation went for it.
One year later, Richard Nixon addressed the nation and asked the “silent majority” to join him in solidarity with the Vietnam War effort and to support his own policy of achieving an end to the war and American troop withdrawal by strengthening the South Vietnamese Army so that it could defend South Vietnam on its own (Wikipedia)
Sounds familiar.
Everything after that - My Lai, Cambodia, Laos, Kent State - none of it had to happen. But all of it did, and we made it worse by collectively allowing our objection to justify “not thinking about it” and neglecting its veterans and victims.
Sounds familiar, too.
Eight years later, Republicans again antagonized an enemy and undermined peace negotiations, in an effort to throw an election.
Think of everything that happened during that conflict after that - Afghanistan, Grenada, Iran-Contra - and ask yourself if these might have been averted were it not for partisan politics.
Well, get dressed, because here it comes again.
What will Karl Rove bring us this time around? War with Iran? Terrorist attack? Capture of Bin Laden?
Whatever it is, don’t you believe it. Don’t let your families believe it. Don’t let your friends believe it.
Confound authority by letting them know you are not being fooled.
